Thursday, March 7, 2013

Loving the alcoholic...or trying

I had a moment the other day listening to the radio.  I have to say I love NPR on Sundays.  (I hate to say I'm not a contributor.  I know I know.  This pledge drive I promise!)  But anyway, as I was listening to On Being (in case you wanted to listen to it), I was sucked in.

In short, Fr. Greg Boyle, is a priest working with gang prevention in LA.  He has changed the lives of many kids living in gang filled areas and his loving kindness blows me away.  He is truly doing the work of God.  But the way he spoke of his "homies" (or the kids he mentors), cracked me up!  All of these kids, and young adults, are former gang members that are trying to make a better life for themselves and Fr. Boyle is the man who had the faith in them.  

How does this play into my life?  This man has loved so many guys that have done some horrible things.  If he is able to find the love in his heart, I can find the love in my heart for my mom.  It may not be easy.  It may not be fun.  It may be hard work.  But it is something that I know I should do. 

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Change to come

So it has been a moment since I have put something up.  In all honesty, I started this blog because of a class.  I am going to continue this blog because the topic of alcoholism is important to me and something, I am sure, will be present in my life for a long time.

Over the past months I have found that many people I know have had similar experiences.  I have found that opening up a dialogue about the subject is healthy; not only for me, but the many people who I have come across who have opened up to me about their own experiences.  I feel compelled to tell my story in the hopes that it will help at least one person.

What is most ironic about all of this?  When I started this blog, my mother was sober.  Now that I am writing again, my mother has recently reentered her "sober house" where they test her several times a week for alcohol use.  I am sure she is proud of herself.  I believe she has ulterior motives... but I am trying to be optimistic.  It is tough though. 

The week before I was to start shopping for a wedding dress is when my mom started drinking.  Really, is this really going on?  I could not believe it.  It put me in a tizzy.  I could not believe it.  Seriously Mom?

I talked with my Dad later that week about what was going on.  They are divorced but they still have a great friendship.  Dad told me about something my grandpa told him when he and my mom first got together.  He told me that an alcoholic will fall off the wagon as soon as things start looking up.  That is so true.  I remember when I was a senior in high school and my mom was drinking again.  It was my senior homecoming and we were taking pictures and getting ready to head out.  I will never forget my mom pulling up in the driveway (someone drove her) and she was drunk as a skunk.  First, to whoever brought her, what the hell were you thinking?  Second, that was the topic of conversation that night for the first part of the evening.  Thanks again.

I wonder if other peoples accomplishments are too hard for her to handle?  Like the story above, I am a senior in college now, graduating this semester, getting married in October... and my moms a drunk.  Or maybe a recovering one... again.

Are my acomplishmen